Wow...really

lately been feeling pretty fucking small with my dorm mates and all my friends being soo good at drawing and at their major. Just feel like why am i here i mean i want to be soo good sometimes but i feel like i should be here to show everyone that i can be the best and rock at it. but then again its like what am i doing here..can i really make it? I dunno and the fact that i want to be with the guy i liked for 5 years but he cant change for me but then like this guy who doesnt even notice my feelings and if i do tell him it will change everything. I cant sleep b/c of all this confusion and all this...this crap! i dunno i hate it..i wish i can jus solve everything in a instant. but sadly i cant......FML